Autism and Girls

Autism & Girls

(Suggested alternative: Understanding autism in girls)

Autism in Girls: signs, symptoms and under-identification

(Suggested alternative: How autism can look in girls and why it is sometimes missed)

Autism can look different in girls than in boys. Sometimes carers and health professionals may think a girl is not autistic because she does not show traits often linked to autism in boys. This happens because most early research on autism focused on boys.

No single trait can diagnose autism in any child or young person. But there are common signs that can help professionals understand what support a child or young person may need.

Some autistic girls may not show traits that people expect to see. Some girls learn to mask. Masking means hiding or copying behaviours to appear more neurotypical. This can help them fit in, but it can also be tiring and stressful.

If you are a girl who thinks you might be autistic, or you care for a child who may be autistic, it can help to know that many autistic girls and women share similar experiences.

An autistic girl may:

(Suggested alternative: Common experiences for autistic girls)

• Rely on other children to guide them or speak for them at school.

• Have strong interests in only a few topics. For example, they may talk a lot about characters or props from a TV show but not know much about the story.

• Only want to talk about their own interests. They may not notice when someone tries to change the topic. This can make joining groups or making friends harder.

• Be very sensitive to loud noises, bright lights, strong smells, or other sensory input.

• Get frustrated easily and find it hard to manage feelings. They may have strong emotional outbursts, sometimes called autistic meltdowns. These behaviours may lead to detentions or suspensions.

• Show different behaviour at home and school. Some children use a lot of energy to cope at school and then have meltdowns at home. Others may cope well at home but struggle with routines at school.

• Have depression, anxiety, or other mental health needs. Autistic children and young people may also have other conditions such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or eating disorders.

Sometimes people think autism traits are simply part of a young girl’s personality. These traits may seem like “quirks” but can be signs of autism.

In fact, these can be subtle but missed traits in autistic girls:

(Suggested alternative: Signs that are often overlooked in autistic girls)

• Finding it hard to make or keep friends. They may miss social cues, such as body language or tone of voice.

• Being called “quiet” or “shy”. Language or communication differences may make it harder to join in conversations, answer quickly, or speak up in class.

• Appearing unusually passive. This can happen when a child is unsure what to say or do. Some autistic children and young people are confident, but girls may learn that being passive is seen as more acceptable.

• Developing in a typical way when younger, but finding social communication harder as they reach their teens. Social expectations become more complex during this time, and masking may become harder.

• Having epileptic seizures. Some research shows that epilepsy may be more common in autistic girls.

• Feeling less connected to traditional gender roles. Some autistic girls and young people may not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. More research is needed to understand this better.

Why autistic girls go unidentified

(Suggested alternative: Why autism in girls is often missed)

Some girls show clear signs of autism. These signs can include self‑stimulating behaviours, known as stims, or big difficulties with speech and language.

When social communication or thinking skills are clearly affected, girls are usually referred for support. They often get a diagnosis when they are young.

But some girls have subtle traits. Others learn how to mask. Masking means copying or hiding behaviours so they look more neurotypical. For these girls, autism may not be noticed until they are older. Some only get a diagnosis in their pre‑teen, teen, or adult years.

Cultural beliefs can also lead to missed autism in girls. Some people expect girls to be quiet, calm, and less assertive than boys. A girl who is shy or withdrawn may be seen as “polite” or “feminine.” A boy who behaves in the same way may get help because adults may expect boys to be louder or more active.

A girl who seems lost in her thoughts may be called a “daydreamer.” But a boy who looks distracted may be seen as disruptive and get support sooner.

Healthcare providers and mental health professionals can miss autism in girls too. The diagnostic criteria for autism spectrum disorder (ASD) were developed from research that mostly looked at boys and men.

There is progress now, and the criteria are becoming more inclusive. But there is still more work to do to make sure autistic girls and young people are identified and supported earlier.

Autistic female friendships

(Suggested alternative: Friendships for autistic girls and women)

• Published on 13 February 2018

• Author: Felicity Sedgewick

Felicity Sedgewick is a researcher at the BEACON Project at King’s College London. She writes about her own research and other studies on the friendships and relationships of autistic girls and women. She also explains how getting an early diagnosis can help with confidence and self‑belief.

Autistic female friendships: what we know, and what we can do

(Suggested alternative: What research tells us about friendships for autistic girls and women)

Most people have friends. We enjoy spending time with others, building trust, sharing fun moments, and supporting each other during difficult times.

Early research into autism made a different assumption. Researchers once believed autistic people did not want friends. The word autism comes from auto, meaning self. This led to the idea that autistic people preferred to be alone or were unable to form friendships.

We now know this is not true. Many studies show that autistic children and young people want friends, often have friends, and are usually happy with their friendships. Their friendships may simply look different to those of neurotypical young people.

Most of this research has focused on autistic boys and young men. This is because autism in girls and women was often missed or misunderstood for many years.

We know that neurotypical girls and women often have different friendship styles than boys and men. For example, women may talk more, offer more emotional support, have fewer but closer friends, and use more subtle social behaviours when dealing with conflict.

Are these gender differences also true for autistic people?

(Suggested alternative: Do autistic girls and boys show similar differences?)

What do we know?

(Suggested alternative: What research tells us)

Autistic girls are often more socially motivated than autistic boys. This means they are more interested in making and keeping friends. They may also have more friends than autistic boys. They are often included more in classroom groups.

Autistic girls often like talking with friends. They may not focus on shared activities in the same way autistic boys or non‑autistic boys do.

For my PhD, I carried out three studies. I looked at how autistic girls and autistic women experience friendships and relationships.

In the first study, autistic and non‑autistic boys and girls in secondary school filled in questionnaires about friendships and bullying. They also took part in an interview.

The second study was with autistic and non‑autistic women. They answered questions about their friendships as teenagers and how things had changed as adults.

The third study involved parents of autistic girls. I asked them how they felt about their child’s friendships and if they had any worries for the future.

My research (waiting to be published) showed that autistic teenage girls have best friends they feel very close to. They rated these friendships as just as close as those of non‑autistic girls. Autistic girls often have one or two best friends instead of a big group. This is different from non‑autistic girls, but their friendships were still unlike the friendships of autistic boys.

However, autistic girls faced one clear difficulty. They were more likely to experience relational conflict. This means things like being gossiped about or being left out. Many autistic girls found this hard to notice and hard to respond to.

What about autistic women?

(Suggested alternative: Friendships and relationships for autistic women)

Many similarities between autistic girls and non‑autistic girls continue into adulthood.

Autistic women in my research said they were just as likely to:

• be in romantic relationships

• be parents

• have a job

• have friends

Autistic women often have one or two close and intense friendships. Their romantic partner may be their main relationship. Sometimes they socialise mostly with their partner’s friends. Many autistic women felt happier and more secure in their friendships as adults. They said that getting an autism diagnosis later in life helped them understand themselves better.

Some difficulties continue into adulthood too. Autistic women said they found workplace politics or school‑gate politics hard to understand. This means the social behaviour some people use to gain status. Many autistic women found these behaviours confusing or not useful.

Many autistic women also shared that they had experienced sexual assault or domestic abuse in the past. They believed this was linked to finding it hard to understand other people’s intentions and expecting others to follow clear social rules. All the women in the study were now in healthy and safe relationships.

So, what next?

(Suggested alternative: What this means going forward)

It is reassuring that assault and abuse did not happen within the group of autistic teenage girls I worked with. Many parents I spoke to were already talking with their children about safe relationships. This early support may help the current generation as they grow into adults. They are learning more about autism, and they are learning what they need from their friendships and relationships.

Even with some worrying findings, the main message from my research is this: many autistic girls and autistic women have friendships and relationships that are similar in many ways to those of non‑autistic girls and women. They also have patterns that are different from those of autistic boys.

The Curly Hair Project

(Suggested alternative: Helpful resources)

https://thegirlwiththecurlyhair.co.uk/
https://thegirlwiththecurlyhair.co.uk/resources/e-learning/

Clarke, H (2022) Supporting spectacular girls

(Suggested alternative: Book on wellbeing for autistic girls)

Supporting Spectacular Girls: A practical guide to developing autistic girls’ wellbeing and self-esteem
By Hannah Clarke (2022), Jessica Kingsley Publishers

Autism and Masking

(Suggested alternative: Understanding masking)

Autism and Masking – How and why people do it, and the impact it can have
By Dr Felicity Sedgewick, Dr Laura Hull and Helen Ellis (2022)

The Secret Life of Rose

(Suggested alternative: Story from an autistic perspective)

The Secret Life of Rose: Inside an autistic head
By Rose Smitten (2021)

Autistic Girls Network Reasonable Adjustments

(Suggested alternative: Support for autistic girls)

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The Bridge – ASD Communication and girls

(Suggested alternative: Communication support for autistic girls)

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