Behaviour Is Communication

Children sometimes struggle to explain things with words. They may not have the language or confidence to tell an adult what is wrong. When this happens, they often use their behaviour to communicate.

Challenging behaviour always has a purpose. A child may be trying to:

• get someone’s attention

• stop something they do not like

• meet a sensory need

There is always a reason behind behaviour.

A child showing challenging behaviour is sending a message that their needs are not being met. One behaviour can come from many possible causes. A child may be:

• hungry

• scared

• in pain

• tired

• bored

• sad

• angry

Some behaviours look destructive because the sensation feels good, such as pulling threads from clothing.
Some children feel unsafe or out of control — they may choose actions they can control, like kicking, hitting, or throwing.

If a child has tried to communicate their needs many times and adults still don’t understand, the behaviour often gets bigger and louder to make sure the message is heard.

Children often communicate through behaviour. Adults can help by working out what the behaviour is trying to say.

Children — especially those who show challenging behaviour — need calm, caring, consistent adults who can guide and support them during difficult moments.

When adults understand what a child’s behaviour means, they can respond in a helpful way. When a child feels heard, respected, and supported, they no longer need to use challenging behaviour to communicate their needs.

Punishment may stop behaviour in the moment, but it does not teach what to do instead, nor does it meet the unmet need.

Teaching positive ways to express needs helps children build important lifelong skills such as talking about feelings, asking for help, and solving problems.

Behaviour is shaped by the person, the situation, the environment, and the people around them. To understand behaviour, we must look deeper than what we see on the surface.

A child’s behaviour may link to underlying needs or difficulties.
Challenging behaviour is not a core feature of neurodevelopmental difference — it is a sign that something is difficult for the child in that moment.

Behaviour is communication. There is always a reason behind it.

Behaviours that feel hard to manage do not happen because someone wants to be “difficult”. They rarely happen “out of the blue”, even if the reason is not obvious. Often, a person cannot cope and cannot explain why using words.

Challenging behaviour often happens when the demands of a situation are higher than the person's ability to cope. It can be affected by:

• how the person feels

• what happened earlier

• what is happening around them now

A behaviour becomes a concern if it:

• affects quality of life

• puts the person or others at risk

Challenging behaviour usually has two main purposes:

• to get something (item, activity, feeling, attention)

• to avoid something (task, person, place, sensation)

It is always important to check for pain or illness when behaviour seems unusual.

To reduce a behaviour, we must understand the reason behind it. This means looking at:

• the person’s skills and needs

• the environment

• the demands of the situation

• the people involved

Think about the last time a studcalled out, pushed in line, or put their head down on the desk. What might their behaviour be telling you?

Often, behaviour shows that the student does not yet have the skills or words to explain what they need — or they may not know what they need themselves.

Ask:
What is this student trying to communicate? What do they need? How can I help?

When a student acts out, it can trigger strong feelings in adults — stress, frustration, or feeling personally challenged. These reactions are normal.

It helps to pause and shift your focus from the behaviour to the student.

Students bring many experiences into school. For example:

• Neurodivergent students may have had negative school experiences before.

• Students from different cultures may not feel comfortable speaking in groups.

• Students facing poverty may push or rush to get food.

• Students with trauma may react strongly to small changes because they do not feel safe.

When we understand these experiences, it becomes easier to respond to why behaviour is happening, not just what the behaviour looks like.

Some students may need support with:

• behaviours

• learning

• everyday skills

Understanding their background and needs helps adults choose the right support.

Understanding the reason behind a behaviour helps you respond appropriately and prevents future difficulties.

Learning for Justice uses the acronym EATS to describe four common reasons behind behaviour:

• Escape

• Attention

• Tangible gains (getting something)

• Sensory needs

Below are examples of each.

Some students use behaviour to avoid a task, demand, situation, or person they find difficult. Avoidance can also be quiet — for example, repeatedly asking to go to the toilet when it’s their turn to read.

Example:
Sofia finds reading very hard. During reading time, she refuses to take out her book, throws it, calls the teacher a name, and is sent out.

What the behaviour is saying:
Sofia would rather get into trouble than attempt something too difficult without help.

Some students behave in ways that help them gain attention. This can be positive or negative. They may need reassurance or be unsure when attention will come.

Example:
Nevaeh repeatedly calls the teacher’s name and eventually taps their arm when she gets no response.

What the behaviour is saying:
Nevaeh needs reassurance. She wants to know she has done her work correctly and seeks the teacher’s approval.

This often happens when a student struggles with impulsivity or flexible thinking.

Example:
Joseph talks back and seems argumentative. He needs more information to understand the lesson and fears missing something.

What the behaviour is saying:
Joseph needs support with waiting, turn‑taking, and understanding social cues. He is not trying to be disrespectful — he needs clearer guidance.

Students take in sensory information all day. Some struggle to process it.
“Sensory seekers” need more input; “sensory avoiders” may be overwhelmed by noises, touch, movement, or crowds.

Example:
Ethan touches others in line and sometimes pushes.

What the behaviour is saying:
Ethan feels crowded and overwhelmed. He needs more personal space to feel safe.