Being a Parent
Neurodiversity Hub Wirral
Parenting Children
Parenting can be difficult when a child struggles to express their feelings or needs, or shows distress through their behaviour. Parents and carers also need empathy, understanding and support.
It is normal to feel tired, worried, unsure of yourself or even ashamed at times. When these feelings last a long time, parenting can begin to feel like a chore rather than something rewarding, making it harder to feel empathy for the child.
A parent or carer may begin to feel powerless or stressed. Without support, this can lead to burnout or blocked care — when a caregiver finds it difficult to feel connection, compassion or understanding toward their child.
This is why getting help is important. Support can come from friends, family, professionals or support services. Parents and carers also need breaks and time for self‑care.
Parenting a child who communicates distress through behaviour can lead to feelings of shame, judgement or isolation. Peer support can help reduce these feelings and improve understanding.
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Parenting is not always easy. Watching your child grow and become more independent can feel amazing, but it can also be hard work.
It can feel even harder if your child’s mood or behaviour changes and you are unsure why. You may worry about them or feel unsure what to do next. Many parents feel this way at times.
YoungMinds offers support for parents and carers who are worried about a child or young person’s mental health (up to age 25).
You can contact them through:
Parents Helpline: 0808 802 5544
Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 4:00pmParents Webchat:
Open Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 4:00pmEmail:
You can email outside webchat hours: 4:00pm – 9:30am Monday to Friday, and any time over the weekend.More information:
YoungMinds -
If your child struggles to manage their emotions, you may wonder how to help. Children learn emotional regulation by watching trusted adults.
Ways to support them:
Be a safe base
Your child needs to know they can come to you for comfort and help.
Recognise your own limits
If you struggle with your own emotions or mental health, consider seeking support. Building your own resilience helps you support your child better.
Lead by example
Show calm behaviour and emotional skills for your child to copy.
Adjust when needed
Notice triggers and plan ahead.
Example: If shoe shopping is stressful, buy shoes in their size and try them on at home.Keep routines consistent
Predictability helps children feel safe.
Talk with school
Share strategies that work at home. Ask about SEN support or adjustments if relevant.
Reward positive behaviour
Praise or small rewards can help reinforce calm strategies.
More information about emotion dysregulation:
Very Well MindParenting support, including Solihull Programmes:
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Teenage behaviour can sometimes feel confusing, stressful or upsetting, but much of it is a natural part of growing up.
Hormones, physical changes, social pressures and identity exploration can make this stage challenging.
Teenagers may:
become distant
want more time alone or with friends
feel misunderstood
reject affection or attempts to talk
seem moody or withdrawn
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Teenagers can challenge even calm parents. Other life pressures can make this feel overwhelming. Try to remember that teenage behaviours often have emotional and physical causes.
You do not have to enjoy every moment. Looking after yourself matters too.
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Family Lives suggests:
Set aside time for yourself.
Give yourself permission to rest.
Talk about your worries with someone you trust.
Learn strategies to cope with low or anxious feelings.
Speak to a GP if you think you may be depressed, anxious or stressed.
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Teenagers often react with feelings before thinking. They need you to stay calm and consistent.
Tips:
Set family rules and stick to them.
Listen fully when they speak.
Let them learn from safe mistakes.
Talk calmly about concerns such as safety, sex or drugs.
Give them privacy.
Help them recognise what matters to them (values and goals).
Discuss online, home and community safety.
Talk about body autonomy, boundaries and relationships.
Avoid sounding patronising.
Check their preferred style for “easy read” materials.
Ask for their preferred pronouns.
Use the words they use for emotions (“meltdown”, “shutdown”).
Value their special interests — these support emotional regulation.
Highlight strengths such as focus or attention to detail.
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Many parents have their own health challenges or Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). ACEs can include neglect, abuse or growing up around violence. These experiences can affect the stress response.
Strong emotions like anger, shame or anxiety can trigger toxic stress, which, over time, can affect brain development and functioning.
Support in childhood or adulthood can reduce the impact of ACEs. These are called protective factors.
Stress overload may show as:
difficulty calming down
impatience or anger
trouble thinking clearly
difficulty understanding others’ needs
struggling to model calm behaviour
The good news
It is never too late to get help. The brain can learn and change throughout life.
Building resilience — the ability to cope and recover — helps protect health and reduce the effects of ACEs.
Understanding what behaviour is typical for your child’s age can also help you respond with confidence.
Reducing the effects of ACEs
Helpful habits include:
Supportive relationships
Relaxation and enjoyable hobbies
Good sleep, healthy food, physical activity
Mindfulness
Speaking to a mental health professional
Talking to your GP about health risks linked to ACEs
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Learning that your child has a disability or additional need can trigger many emotions: sadness, grief, fear, worry, relief, joy and deep love.
Every parent responds differently. This is the beginning of a unique journey for your family, involving various professionals and possible challenges for parents, siblings and grandparents.