Friendship and Teenagers

Neurodiversity Hub Wirral

Why Teen Friendships Matter

Friendships are very important in the teenage years. Teen friendships help young people feel accepted and like they belong. They also help teenagers learn compassion, care for others and empathy.

Teen friendships also help young people build a sense of identity outside the family. Friends can offer strong support when life feels hard.

During the teenage years, there are many changes. Teens are working out who they are. They may feel that old friend groups no longer feel right. It can feel scary to try to join a new group. Social media can add pressure and make teens feel left out or caught in drama.

Not all teen friendships last forever. People change as they grow, and friendships can fade. Parents and carers can help by talking with teens about what they value in a friendship. Friendships often last longer when teens share the same values and want the same things from the relationship.

It is normal for teens to have arguments. This does not mean the friendship must end. Teen friendships help young people learn how to handle conflict, how to reflect on their actions and how to apologise. They also learn how to forgive.

Teen friendships matter. They play a big role in growing into adulthood. But even with the importance of friends, parents and carers still have a key role in guiding and supporting teens.

Computer gaming set up

  • 1. Communication is important

    • Friends do not have to agree on everything.

    • Talk and listen to each other.

    • Say sorry when needed.

    • Talk things through after a fall out.

    • Be fair and stay calm.

    • Try to solve problems when they happen.

    2. How to treat your friends

    • Do not put friends down.

    • Do not talk behind their back.

    • Stand up for them.

    • Be there when they need you.

    • Spend time together.

    • Accept and respect each other.

    • Give each other space.

    • Compromise when you can.

    3. Being a good friend

    A good friend has a mix of qualities, such as:

    • Trust

    • Honesty

    • Kindness and care

    • Understanding

    • Loyalty

    • Fun

    • A sense of humour

    • Being yourself

  • 1. You have choice about friendships

    • You do not have to be friends with everyone.

    • Notice how you feel about your friendships.

    • You can choose to end a friendship if you want to.

    • Making friends outside school gives you more choice.

    2. Friendships are about respecting each other

    • Friendships should feel equal.

    • Both people need to put in time and effort.

    • Both people need to show respect and understanding.

    • Do not change who you are to fit in. You should be accepted for who you are.

    3. Friendships change and sometimes end

    • Not all friendships last forever. It is normal for them to change or end.

    • It is OK to end a friendship without feeling guilty, even if it feels hard.

    • Many people struggle with friendships at times.

    • If you are worried, talk to a trusted adult.

  • Many teenagers make friends online. In fact, 57% of teens say they have met a new friend online. Social media, gaming and shared interests often bring young people together.

    There are many reasons for making online friends. These can include:

    • feeling lonely or left out in everyday life

    • living far from people their age

    • needing to avoid contact with others due to health reasons

    • finding it easier to talk online

    • enjoying online spaces as an extra way to make friends

    For many young people, online friendships are a positive part of life. They can sit alongside friends from school, clubs and hobbies. Making friends online is now a normal part of growing up.

    How do young people meet online friends?

    Young people often meet online friends through:

    Friend‑finding apps

    Apps like Wink, Hoop and Yubo let young people swipe right to show interest or swipe left to move on. This is similar to dating apps, but the aim is to chat and make friends.

  • Many friendships form on multiplayer games like Rocket League and FIFA.
    Young people may also connect on platforms linked to gaming, such as:

    • Discord (chat and group spaces)

    • Twitch (watching streamers)

    As virtual reality and the Metaverse grow, more young people may make friends in these digital spaces.

    Risks

    Online friendships can be positive, but there are risks that young people need to know about.

    Fake profiles and catfishing

    Some people create fake profiles. This may happen because they want:

    • money or financial gain

    • to trick or target someone

    • to hide who they are

    • attention or followers

    • to pretend they are someone else

    There are also automated accounts called bots. These usually boost follower numbers or promote brands. They are less likely to try to build personal friendships, but young people may still see or interact with them.

    Grooming

    Some people may try to build a friendship online as part of grooming. They may:

    • use fake photos

    • pretend to be someone the same age

    • build trust through friendly chats

    Once trust is built, they may try to get personal information like:

    • a young person’s location

    • where they go to school

    • private details that could be used to harm, control or pressure them

    A young person may believe they are talking to a real friend or an online romantic partner. This can put them at risk of being tricked or pressured into sharing unsafe content or private information.

    If a young person feels unsure, scared or uncomfortable, they should always speak to a trusted adult straight away.

    Cyberbullying and Trolling

    It is common for young people to fall out with friends or have arguments. But when these problems happen online, they can feel much worse. Online disagreements can grow quickly, especially when a whole group or online community becomes involved and one person is targeted.

    When bullying happens online, it can happen at any time of day or night. This means the young person cannot always get a break from it. Bullies online may also feel less worried about being seen by parents, carers or teachers.

    If a group of people joins in, they may feel “safe in numbers”. They might believe they are less responsible because everyone else is doing it too. This can lead to trolling, which is a type of online bullying. Trolling includes sending upsetting or threatening messages and calling it “funny”, even when it is not.

    Screen Time and Isolation

    When a young person feels lonely in everyday life, they may look online to find friends or a community. This can have positive sides, but it can also bring risks.

    Some possible risks include:

    Too much screen time

    There is no clear answer to how much screen time is “too much”. But some studies show that very high levels of screen time may affect parts of the brain linked to planning, organising and managing impulses. Some psychologists have raised concerns about this.

    Exposure to extremism or radicalisation

    Young people who feel lonely or isolated may be more vulnerable online. They may be targeted by groups that want to influence them with extreme or harmful beliefs. A desire to belong, or feeling angry or “different”, can make a young person more at risk.