Impulse Control

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Impulsive children often get labelled as unruly or aggressive. This happens because of how they act physically and socially. Even though these children can be caring and sensitive, people may overlook their good traits due to poor impulse control. 

Impulsive children act before thinking. They struggle to stop and consider what might happen next. Their ability to self-regulate is limited, so they don’t always change their behaviour based on future consequences. 

Many impulsive children spend a lot of time in time-out, grounded, or in trouble for what they say or do. Helping them improve impulse control takes patience and time. 

Sometimes, impulsivity is part of growing up. Children develop at different rates. Some take longer to learn how to stop and think before acting. 

But some children truly can’t put on the “mental brakes.” They may interrupt others, grab things, or take physical risks. In these cases, something else might be causing the impulsivity. 

Impulsive behaviour can make children seem younger than they are. For example, an 8-year-old might act like a 5-year-old. You may notice behaviours that you thought would have stopped years ago. 

Struggling with impulsivity can affect how children feel about themselves. When they learn to control their actions, they feel more mature and build better self-esteem. 

It’s easy to assume why a child acts impulsively. If a child says something rude, people may think they meant to insult someone. But often, children don’t mean to be rude or aggressive. 

Mental health issues like phobias and mood disorders can also cause impulsive behaviour. So can lack of sleep, stress, and frustration. When children face challenges at school or in life, they may act out. Young children often don’t have the words to explain how they feel.

  • Delaying gratification means waiting to get what you want. It’s a key part of self-control. People often manage their behaviour by putting off short-term desires for long-term rewards. 

    For example, someone who wants a new console game might avoid spending money on outings. They know that saving now means they can afford the game later. 

    Delaying gratification helps people reach goals and improves well-being and success. 

  • The hot system is emotional and impulsive. It pushes us to act on our desires right away. When this system takes over, we may act without thinking about long-term effects. 

    The cool system is rational and thoughtful. It helps us think about consequences and resist urges. This system helps us distract ourselves and find better ways to manage desires.

  • Online gaming can be fun, but it’s easy to lose track of time. Be aware of how long you play and take regular breaks. 

    Here are warning signs that gaming may be affecting your life: 

    • You stop spending time with friends and family 

    • You lie about how much time you spend gaming 

    • You choose gaming over homework and get into trouble at school 

    • Gaming is the first thing you think about in the morning and all day at school 

    • You play late into the night and feel tired during the day 

    • You feel angry, anxious, or frustrated when you can’t play 

    • You spend money in the game and feel unable to stop 

How Impulsivity Appears in Children and Teens

Impulsivity looks different for every child and may change with age. Children and teens with impulsivity might: 

  • Do silly things to get attention 

  • Struggle to follow rules 

  • Act aggressively toward others 

  • Overreact to frustration, mistakes, or criticism 

  • Want to speak first and have the last word 

  • Not understand how their actions affect others 

  • Not think about consequences 

  • Take more risks with dating, driving, alcohol, or drugs

When ADHD Is the Cause of Impulsivity

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a common cause of impulsive behaviour. ADHD makes it hard to manage strong feelings like anger. Researchers don’t know the exact cause of ADHD. But many children and adults have it, and it often runs in families. 

Studies show that some parts of the brain develop more slowly in people with ADHD. These parts help with executive functioning skills, including impulse control. This may explain why people with ADHD are more impulsive than others.