More Information

The possible repercussions of masking

A child who masks all day may hold in their feelings until they get home. Home feels safe. Parents and carers are trusted people. When the child gets home, the pressure of holding everything in may release.

As the child tries to sort through the events and feelings of the day, they may show strong emotions. These can include anger, aggression, frustration, crying, panic, or what some people call “meltdowns” or “burnout.” They may also choose to be alone in their bedroom.

A neurodivergent meltdown is when too many sensory or emotional demands cause distress. Some people prefer the word dysregulation instead of meltdown. Dysregulation means the person cannot control their emotions or responses in that moment. Support from trusted people can help. Online communities can also help. Taking breaks, focusing on positive feelings, and using good mental health habits can support recovery.

A neurodivergent shutdown is a quieter response to extreme stress. In a shutdown, a person may:

• become silent

• be unable to speak or communicate

• move away to a quiet, dark place

• feel unable to move because of stress

• lie still on a flat surface

Shutdowns can happen for many reasons. A person may be in a loud or crowded space. They may be doing a task that feels too hard. A shutdown can also happen after many days or weeks of stress building up. Shutdowns have two main purposes. One is to show that the person is overwhelmed. The other is to help the person calm their mind and body. Sometimes a shutdown happens after a meltdown as the person tries to return to a steady state.

Time to recover

Like meltdowns, shutdowns end when the person feels safe again. The time needed to recover is different for each person. It depends on what caused the shutdown and how close the person still is to the source of stress.

It is best to give the child space. Time alone helps them slowly calm down. It also lowers the chance of another shutdown. If shutdowns happen often, it can help to learn what supports the child. This may be a favourite activity, an object to stim with, or simple calming words or a gentle touch. These small things can show the child that they have support when they feel stressed or anxious.

A neurodivergent burnout can grow over many years. It can happen when a person spends a long time pretending to be someone they are not. It is linked to trying to fit into a world that is not designed with neurodivergent people in mind. Burnout happens when there is a large gap between what neurotypical society expects and who the person truly is.

Masking Tics

Tics are fast, repeated muscle movements or sounds that are hard to control. Many children have tics. They usually start around age five. They can sometimes start in adults, but this is rare. Tics are not usually serious and often get better with time. But they can be annoying and can make everyday life harder.

There are many types of tics. Some tics affect the body. These are called motor tics. Some tics make a sound. These are called vocal tics or phonic tics.

Examples of tics include:

• blinking, wrinkling the nose, or making faces

• jerking or hitting the head

• clicking fingers

• touching objects or people

• coughing, grunting, or sniffing

• repeating a sound or phrase (in rare cases, this may be rude or upsetting)

Tics can happen for no clear reason. They can also be linked to stress, worry, tiredness, excitement, or happiness. Tics often get worse when people talk about them. Many people feel a strong, uncomfortable feeling before the tic happens. This is called an urge. Some people can hold back the tic for a short time, but it is very hard.

Children should feel safe and comfortable when ticking. While tics are not something a child chooses to do, they can sometimes hold them in. But holding them in takes a lot of energy. If a child uses all their energy to hide their tics, they may not be able to focus or learn well.
It is better to manage tics than try to stop them. This may include using a fiddle toy, chewing gum, or doodling. Children can also learn what situations make their tics harder. For example, if loud sounds trigger tics, they may wear noise‑cancelling headphones or sit at the back in assembly.

Parents, teachers, and friends play a big role in helping a child feel safe with tics. Some children worry about what other people think. Stress or feeling watched can make tics worse.
Because of this:

• Do not tell a child off for ticking

• Do not laugh at them

• Try to avoid giving lots of attention to the tic

• Keep reactions calm and neutral

Talking about tics in a positive way helps. Ignoring the tic when it happens stops it from becoming a bigger focus.

Things that may help you or your child include:

• Lower stress and boredom by doing something fun or relaxing

• Get enough sleep and rest

• Try to ignore the tic and not talk about it too much

• Do not punish a child for ticking

• Let the child know they do not need to feel embarrassed

• Make sure other people, like family or teachers, know what tics are so they do not react in a hurtful way

If school is hard, talk to the teacher about support. For example, the child may leave the room if tics become strong.