Impulsivity

Impulsivity and overthinking are two different ways the brain works.

Impulsivity means someone acts very fast and does not stop to think first.
Overthinking means someone thinks a lot and finds it hard to decide what to do.

Both can make it harder to feel calm, learn new things, and get on with others

A neuro-affirmative approach means we respect how a person’s brain works. We do not try to “fix” them. These differences are part of who they are.

Children and young people may also be:

  • creative

  • caring

  • full of energy

  • strong in their sense of fairness

Understanding Impulsivity

Impulsivity is common in people who are neurodivergent (their brain works in a different way). This includes:

  • Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

  • autism

Impulsivity may look like:

  • acting without thinking about what may happen

  • interrupting or speaking out suddenly

  • strong emotional reactions or meltdowns

  • finding it hard to stop once they have started something

Why It happens in Neurodivergence

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
The brain finds it hard to pause and wait. This is linked to executive function (skills that help with planning and control) and brain chemicals.

Autism
Impulsivity may happen because of:

  • too much sensory input (noise, light, touch)

  • anxiety

  • thinking patterns that feel fixed

Other Needs
Past trauma or mental health needs can make impulsivity stronger.

Impact

Impulsivity can lead to:

  • problems with other people (others may think the young person is rude)

  • higher risk of bullying or unsafe situations

  • big emotions, stress, or shutdown

Understanding Overthinking

What Is Overthinking?

Overthinking means getting stuck in your thoughts.

You may think again and again about:

  • choices

  • mistakes

  • things that might happen

It can feel like your brain will not stop.

Why Does It Happen?

For Neurodivergent Young People

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
Your brain may focus very strongly on worries. It can be hard to switch to something else.

Autism
You may feel safer when things are clear and planned. Not knowing what will happen can lead to lots of thinking.

Anxiety
Anxiety often happens with ADHD or autism. It can make worries feel bigger and harder to stop.

For Parents

Your child is not “overreacting”. They are trying to feel safe or in control.

Overthinking is not laziness or refusing to listen. It means their brain is working very hard.

How Overthinking Can Affect Daily Life

Overthinking can lead to:

  • Decision paralysis (finding it hard to choose)

  • Feeling very tired from too much thinking

  • Sleep problems, like not being able to fall asleep

  • More anxiety, with stronger worries

Behavioural techniques and Strategies for young people and parents

  • Safe Ways to Release Energy
    Try:

    • fidget tools

    • movement breaks

    • sensory activities

    Practice Pausing
    Use simple phrases like:

    • “Let me think”

    • “I need a minute”

    Simple Mindfulness
    Try short activities like:

    • counting breaths

    • holding and noticing an object

    Planning Tools
    Use apps or planners made for:

    • Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

    • autism

    These can help with organising and planning.

  • For Young People

    • Impulse Pause Toolkit
      A small set of tools to help you stop and think.
      This can include a “thought parking” card (a card that reminds you to pause and come back to a worry later).

    • STOP Technique (extended)

      • Stop

      • Take a breath

      • Observe: “Am I acting too fast or thinking too much?”

      • Proceed calmly

    • Visual Flow Chart
      A simple chart that asks:
      “Do I need to slow down or stop overthinking?”
      It then shows calming steps to follow.

    For Young People

    • Fidget tools – stress balls, sensory rings, or chewable jewellery

    • Cue cards – simple cards that say “Pause”, “Think”, or “Ask for help”

    • Impulse Pause Box – a box with calming items, such as:

      • colouring sheets

      • breathing steps

      • soft textures

    For Parents

    • Create a calm space at home using these tools

    • Let your child choose what to include in their box

    Behavioural Strategies

    For Young People

    • STOP Technique

      • Stop

      • Take a breath

      • Observe

      • Proceed calmly

    • Delay Practice
      Wait 5 to 10 seconds before acting.
      Slowly increase the time.

    • Reward Systems
      Use tokens or apps to celebrate calm and thoughtful choices.

    • Mindfulness
      Try short grounding activities like:
      “5 things you can see, 4 you can touch…”

    For Young People

    • Thought parking – write your worry down and come back to it later

    • Worry timer – think about your worry for 10 minutes, then stop and do something else

    • 5-4-3-2-1 grounding

      • 5 things you can see

      • 4 things you can touch

      • 3 things you can hear

      • 2 things you can smell

      • 1 thing you can taste

  • Parent Strategies

    Understand the Brain
    Impulsivity is not “bad behaviour”. It is how the brain works.

    Use Visual Supports
    Use things like:

    • timers

    • picture cards

    • simple stories about what will happen

    These help with change and self-control.

    Reduce Sensory Overload
    Keep spaces calm and quiet where possible.

    Solve Problems Together
    Work with your child to find what helps.

    Use Praise
    Notice effort, not just results.

    Get Support
    Helpful support may include:

    • occupational therapy (support with daily skills and sensory needs)

    • Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) (a talking therapy that helps with thoughts and feelings), adapted for neurodivergent children

    • parent support programmes

    For Parents

    • Help your child make and use these tools

    • Keep tools easy to see and easy to reach

    Helpful Apps

    1. Impulse Control

    • Impulse Control Game – practise waiting before acting

    • Stop, Breathe and Think – short calming activities

    • Headspace or Calm – help with breathing and relaxation

    2. Executive Function Support

    Executive function means skills we use to plan, organise, and manage tasks.

    • Todoist or Trello – break tasks into small steps

    • Forest app – stay focused by growing a virtual tree when you avoid distractions

    . Visual Timers

    • Time Timer – shows time passing with colour or pictures

    This helps your child see how long they have, which can reduce stress and quick reactions.

    Physical Tools

    For Parents

    • Practise these tools together

    • Use simple reminders, like cards with steps on them

    Parent Support Tips

    Validate Feelings
    Say things like:
    “I hear you are worried. Let’s make a plan together.”

    Gently Guide
    Help your child move from “what if” thoughts to simple actions.

    Use Routines
    Clear and regular routines help your child feel safe.

    Model Calm Thinking
    Talk through your own choices out loud. This shows your child how to think things through

  • When Overthinking Meets Impulsivity

    Sometimes, a young person may switch between overthinking and acting quickly.
    They may think too much at one time, then act too fast at another time.

    The aim is to help them pause, think, and feel calm.

What’s On to support Impulsivity

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Support in Wirral

  • My Happy Mind logo

    My Happy Mind

    My Happy Mind is a resource that can be used by schools in Wirral. There is support for parents and carers and children and young people. You can find more information on their website.

    The service in schools is free.

    Click Here

Resources and Helpful Information

The National Autistic Society is a charity that helps autistic people and their families by providing information, advice, and support.Its Resources for Autistic Teenagers page includes free videos, guides, and worksheets to help autistic teenagers understand themselves and their experiences.The resources cover topics such as understanding yourself, managing energy levels, exploring your identity, understanding other people, and preparing for the future.The materials are created with autistic young people and include real stories and practical ideas.These resources help autistic teenagers build confidence, understand their strengths, and feel more positive about who they are

Spectrum Gaming is an autistic-led charity that helps autistic young people make friends, build confidence, and feel proud of who they are.The website offers a safe online community where autistic young people can chat, take part in events, and connect with others who understand them.It provides resources, guides, advocacy projects, and information to help young people, parents, and professionals better understand autism.The site also offers online activities, Minecraft sessions, face-to-face meet-ups in some areas, and opportunities for young people to share their views and experiences.These resources help autistic young people feel less lonely, make meaningful friendships, and develop confidence in everyday life

Explaining Brains helps parents explain neurodiversity, learning differences, and diagnoses to children in a positive and confident way.Its website provides guides, handouts, videos, worksheets, and books that help children understand how their brains work and recognise their strengths.The resources cover ADHD, autism, dyslexia, anxiety, giftedness, behaviour differences, self-advocacy, medication, siblings, and school support.The site also gives practical advice for parents on talking about diagnoses, working with schools, and helping children build confidence and independence.These resources help children understand themselves better, feel proud of who they are, and learn how to ask for the support they need

AutPlay Therapy helps parents and professionals understand and support neurodivergent children in a positive and respectful way.Its Neurodiversity Understood Parent Guide helps families learn about autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent differences using strengths-based language.The website provides guides, videos, and resources on topics such as emotional regulation, behaviour, relationships, self-advocacy, and understanding a child’s unique needs.It also offers information about play therapy and ways parents can support their child at home and work with professionals.These resources help children feel understood, build confidence, and develop strong emotional wellbeing

Words Matter is a charity that helps adults use kind and positive words so children can feel safe, valued, and confident.Its Talking to Neurodivergent Children and Young People guide gives simple tips to help parents, carers, and teachers communicate in supportive ways.The guide explains that neurodivergent children may think and learn differently, so they often need clear, patient, and understanding communication.The website also offers free resources about talking with teenagers, supporting children through changes, building confidence, and improving communication.These resources help adults build strong relationships and support children's wellbeing, confidence, and development.

YoungMinds is a charity that helps children and young people with their mental health and emotional wellbeing. It provides trusted advice, guides, and resources for young people, families, schools, and professionals.Its Quick Guide to ADHD in Young People explains that ADHD affects attention, activity levels, and behaviour, and that young people with ADHD may need extra support.The guide describes common signs of ADHD, how assessments and support work, and the ways ADHD can affect confidence, anxiety, and mental health.The website also offers practical advice on mental health, wellbeing, relationships, school life, and supporting young people with different needs.These resources help adults and young people better understand ADHD and find ways to build confidence, cope with challenges, and thrive