Feeling Angry

Anger is a normal emotion. We often feel angry when: 

• We’re frustrated 

• We don’t like a situation 

• We’ve been treated unfairly 

Sometimes we feel angry without knowing why—and that’s okay. What matters is how we express it. 

When Is Anger a Problem?

Anger becomes a problem when: 

• You express it in unsafe or harmful ways 

• It affects your daily life 

• It damages your relationships 

• It’s the only emotion you feel 

If this sounds familiar, talk to a trusted adult. You don’t have to deal with it alone. 

Unhealthy Ways of Dealing with Anger

Anger can be expressed in two main ways: 

• Externalised: Directed outward at others 

• Internalised: Directed inward at yourself 

Unhealthy Externalised Behaviours

• Shouting or swearing 

• Losing control 

• Breaking or throwing things 

• Hurting others emotionally or physically 

• Being rude or starting fights 

• Trying to make others angry on purpose 

Unhealthy Internalised Behaviours

• Blaming yourself instead of dealing with anger 

• Skipping meals or sleep 

• Avoiding things you enjoy 

• Using alcohol or drugs 

• Self-harming 

Being aware of these behaviours is the first step toward learning healthier ways to cope. 

Ways to Cope with Anger

Everyone experiences anger differently. Try different strategies to find what works best for you. 

Tips for Managing Anger in the Moment

When anger builds, your body releases adrenaline. You might feel: 

• Tense muscles 

• Fast heartbeat 

• Sweaty or shaky 

Spotting these signs early helps you choose how to respond. 

🔗 Mind – Tips for Dealing with Anger 

Tips for Coping with Anger at School or College

School can be stressful. Try these strategies: 

• Relax your body: Drop your shoulders, unclench your jaw 

• Take deep breaths: Count backwards from 10 

• Use clear phrases: “I’m feeling angry because…” 

• Find a quiet space: Ask a teacher about safe spaces during breaks 

• Talk to teachers: Let them know how you’re feeling 

• Change your seat: If someone is upsetting you, ask to move

Tips for Dealing with Arguments

Arguments can be tough, especially when you’re angry. Try: 

• Think before you speak: Say your next sentence in your head first 

• Take a breath: Let your thoughts settle 

• Listen: Understand the other person’s point of view 

• Apologise: Explain you’re working on managing anger 

• Reflect: Is your anger really about this person or something else? 

• Consider consequences: Will this affect your relationship or get you into trouble? 

• Ask yourself: Will I care about this in 6 months? 

• Take a break: Come back to the conversation when you’re calm 

Tips for Anger Online or Over Messenger

Online conversations can quickly become heated. Try: 

• Think before you post: Who will see this? 

• Ask a friend: Get their opinion before replying 

• Pause: If you’re angry enough to say something you might regret, don’t post 

• Take a break: Wait 30 minutes or even a day before replying

Tips for Managing Anger in the Long-Term

When you’re feeling calm, take time to think about how you want to handle anger in the future. 

Try This:

Keep a Mood Diary or Journal
Write down what happens when you feel angry. Include: 

• Date and time 

• Where you were 

• What made you angry 

• How you felt 

• How you reacted 

• How you felt afterwards 

• How others might have felt 

• What you could do differently next time 

After a few weeks or months, you might notice patterns. This can help you find safer and more positive ways to manage anger. 

🔗 Mind – Tips for Dealing with Anger

Letting Off Steam

Sometimes emotions build up and need to be released. This is normal. You might feel pressure after: 

• Studying for a long time 

• Missing a bus 

• Having an argument 

• Feeling overwhelmed 

Ways to let off steam: 

• Dance 

• Box 

• Scream into a pillow 

• Go for a walk 

• Do something fun or relaxing 

Letting off steam in a safe way helps prevent stress from building up too much—like shaking a fizzy drink bottle until it explodes. 

If you feel angry or upset all the time, or if you use harmful ways to cope, talk to someone you trust like a parent, teacher, or GP.

Love, Romance and Crushes

Romantic feelings and relationships are a normal part of growing up. They can bring happiness, but also stress or confusion. 

When Do Relationships Start?

• Ages 9–11: You might become more independent and interested in friends 

• Ages 10–14: You might start feeling attracted to others 

• Ages 15–19: Romantic relationships may become more central to your social life 

Some people aren’t interested in relationships until later—and that’s okay too. 

LGBTQ+ Relationships

If you’re LGBTQ+, you might face extra challenges like: 

• Worrying about coming out 

• Feeling pressure to fit in 

• Fearing discrimination or bullying 

You deserve to feel safe and supported in your relationships. 

First Crushes

You might experience: 

• Identity crushes: Admiring someone and wanting to be like them 

• Romantic crushes: Imagining someone as perfect or ideal 

Crushes often don’t last long, but your feelings are real and important.

Early Teen Relationships

Younger teens often hang out in groups. Over time, they may spend more time with someone special. Relationships may last a few weeks or months. 

If you want to go out with someone, talk to a trusted adult. Ask yourself: 

• Do I want this relationship for me—or because my friends have one? 

• Am I ready to get to know someone better? 

If the person is older or younger, think about whether you both want the same things. 

Same-Sex Attraction and Relationships

Some young people feel same-sex or bisexual attraction. Others may feel confused if their feelings are different from their friends or what they see in the media. 

Sexuality develops over time. Exploring and learning about your feelings is normal. 

Respectful Relationships

Healthy relationships help you feel valued and accepted. In respectful relationships: 

• You make your own choices 

• You treat each other fairly 

• You accept mistakes 

• You only touch or have sex when both people are ready 

• You don’t feel pressured 

• You communicate openly and solve problems together 

Dealing with Break-Ups

Break-ups are part of growing up. They can be painful, especially if they happen in public or online. 

You might need: 

• Time and space 

• Someone to talk to 

• Distractions like hobbies or spending time with friends 

🔗 Raising Children – Teen Relationships 
🔗 Romantic Relationships and Feelings – Autistic Teenagers 

Dealing with Loss and Bereavement

When someone you know dies, it can be deeply painful. Grief is a normal response, but it can last a long time and feel overwhelming. 

A short video from young people sharing their experiences may help: 
🔗 Anna Freud – Dealing with Loss and Bereavement 

If you’re struggling, there are charities that offer support. You can read their advice or contact them directly. 

For help with traumatic bereavement: 
🔗 UK Trauma Council – Guide for Children and Young People 

How Physical Illness Can Affect Mental Health

Physical health and mental wellbeing are closely linked. A long-term or chronic illness can lead to: 

• Stress or anxiety (especially around appointments or test results) 

• Low self-esteem or feeling judged 

• Loneliness or isolation 

• Anger or grief (if illness stops you doing things you enjoy) 

• Sleep problems (caused by pain or medication) 

• Less common mental health issues, like eating disorders 

🔗 NHS – Health Issues and Mental Wellbeing 

Stress, Emotions and Physical Symptoms

Stress affects both your emotions and your body. 

Emotional Signs:

• Feeling irritable, angry, tearful 

• Feeling anxious, hopeless, or scared 

• Racing thoughts or trouble making decisions 

Physical Signs:

• Stomach aches, headaches, muscle pain 

• Skin issues like rashes or hives 

• Feeling dizzy, sick, or faint 

• High blood pressure or chest pain (see a GP if this happens) 

Ways to Look After Yourself If You Feel Anxious

Different things help different people. Try a few and see what works for you. 

• Before a stressful event: Try breathing exercises or mindfulness 

• During anxious moments: Move your body, stretch, play a game, or focus on your senses (what you can see, hear, touch, smell, taste) 

🔗 Young Minds – Ways to Look After Yourself If You Have Anxiety 

When Does Anxiety Become a Problem?

Anxiety becomes a problem when: 

• It lasts a long time 

• You feel stuck in your worries 

• You feel overwhelmed 

• It stops you from doing everyday things 

This is sometimes called an anxiety disorder. There are different types, and they affect people in different ways. Talking to your General Practitioner (GP) or someone you trust can help you find support. 

🔗 Young Minds – Anxiety

ypes of Anxiety Disorders

Understanding different types of anxiety can help you explain how you feel and get the right support. You might relate to more than one type—or none at all. That’s okay. Your experience is still valid. 

Common Types:

• Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD): Worrying about many things most of the time 

• Social Anxiety Disorder: Fear of being judged or embarrassed in social situations 

• Health Anxiety: Worrying about being ill or getting ill 

• Academic Anxiety: Feeling overwhelmed by schoolwork or exams 

• Specific Phobias: Intense fear of a particular thing (e.g. spiders, heights) 

• Agoraphobia: Fear of leaving a safe space or being in places where escape feels hard 

• Panic Disorder: Having regular panic attacks and worrying about when the next one will happen 

🔗 Young Minds – Tips for Managing Panic Attacks 

Taking Time Away from Social Media

Social media can be helpful—but it can also feel overwhelming. Constant notifications and updates can be exhausting. 

Taking breaks from social media is a great way to care for your mental health. Even short breaks can help you feel calmer and more focused. 

Try: 

• Turning off notifications 

• Setting screen-free times (e.g. before bed) 

• Spending time offline doing things you enjoy 

• Talking to people face-to-face 

It might feel strange at first, but many people find it refreshing and helpful. 

A Happy Box

A Happy Box (or whatever-you’d-like-to-call-it box) is a special place to keep items that make you feel good or remind you of happy memories. You could include: 

• Photos from a fun day 

• Concert or train tickets 

• Notes or gifts from friends and family 

• Birthday cards or letters 

• Receipts from places you enjoyed visiting 

• Scents you love, like dried lavender or a perfume sample 

This box can help lift your mood when you’re feeling low or anxious

Confronting Your Fears

Not all fears should be faced—some keep us safe. But sometimes we fear things that aren’t dangerous, and facing those fears slowly can help. 

For example, if you feel scared to go to a coffee shop, you could: 

• Ask a trusted friend to go with you 

• Take small steps 

• Talk through your feelings 

• Go at your own pace 

Always make sure you feel safe and supported. 

Feeling Anxious

Anxiety is when you feel scared, worried, or panicked. It’s a normal response to stress or danger. Anyone can feel anxious. 

Common causes: 

• Friendships 

• Money 

• Exams 

• Starting a new school 

• Giving a presentation 

• Travelling alone 

Usually, anxiety fades once the problem is solved or you feel safe again. 

🔗 Young Minds – My Feelings

Feelings About Identity

Adolescence is a time when we start to figure out who we are. This includes: 

• Becoming more independent 

• Exploring values and beliefs 

• Forming life goals 

• Experiencing mood changes 

• Challenging rules 

• Taking risks 

What Makes Up Identity?

Your identity is unique and includes many parts, such as: 

• Gender

• Race

• Culture

• Religion or beliefs

• Sexuality

It’s important to respect everyone’s identity and show acceptance. Understanding and celebrating differences helps build stronger, kinder communities.

Neurodivergent Identity

Neurodivergent is not a medical diagnosis. It’s a way of describing how some people’s brains work differently. People who are diagnosed with conditions like: 

• Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

• Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

• Anxiety

• Depression

may choose to identify as neurodivergent. 

This is a personal choice. There are no strict rules about who is or isn’t neurodivergent. But it’s important not to label everyday behaviours—like forgetting things or feeling tired—as neurodivergent. These are normal human experiences. 

What Is Neurodiversity?

Neurodiversity is the idea that brain differences are a natural part of human diversity—not something to be “fixed.” From this idea, we get terms like: 

• Neurodivergent: someone whose brain works differently 

• Neurotypical: someone whose brain works in a more typical way 

• Neurodiverse: a group that includes both neurodivergent and neurotypical people 

An individual cannot be called neurodiverse—diversity means a mix of different experiences. 

🔗 11to25 Hub – Identity and Neurodiversity

ender Identity

If you feel confused about your gender identity, you’re not alone. Many teenagers question whether they feel male, female, non-binary, or something else. 

You might question your gender if: 

• Your interests or social life don’t match what’s expected of your gender 

• You don’t feel like just male or female 

• You feel like you have no gender (agender) 

• You identify with multiple genders 

• You feel strongly that your gender is different from the sex you were assigned at birth 

Puberty can be especially hard if you feel distressed about your gender. You might feel uncomfortable with changes in your body. 

Gender Identity vs. Sexual Orientation

These are different things. You might identify as: 

• Straight 

• Gay 

• Lesbian 

• Bisexual 

• Pansexual 

• Asexual 

• Fluid (changing over time) 

If you feel distressed, talk to someone you trust—a parent, teacher, or GP. There are also charities and support groups that can help. 

🔗 NHS – Worried About Your Gender Identity?
🔗 Verywell Mind – Why Identity Matters