Teenage Zone

Neurodiversity Hub Wirral

Teenage Zone

What Do “Systemising” and “Empathising” Mean?

Systemising (also called Logical Intent) means understanding the world through logic, rules, and systems. A system is anything that follows rules. People who systemise like to figure out how things work or why people behave a certain way. They focus on facts, patterns, and rules. They may care more about their own feelings than other people’s. 

Empathising (also called Social Intent) means understanding the world through emotions and feelings. It helps you imagine how someone else feels and respond with care. 

What Does This Mean for You?

Neither systemising nor empathising is better. They are just different ways of seeing the world. Some people use both. These traits are not only found in neurodivergent people. Everyone is different. 

Even if someone prefers systemising, they can still feel empathy. That’s a common myth. 

You may have heard of the double empathy problem. Dr Damian Milton, a researcher, created this idea. It says autistic and non-autistic people experience life differently. This can make it harder for them to understand each other. 

Dr Milton found that autistic people communicate well with other autistic people. Non-autistic people do the same. But when the two groups talk to each other, things can break down. This doesn’t mean anyone is wrong. Both sides need to try to understand each other.

Thinking About You

  • Highlight your strengths – What do you enjoy? What are you good at? Build on those. 

  • Find a safe space – A place like home where you can be yourself. 

  • Express yourself – Talk about how you feel and what matters to you. 

  • Peer support – Connect with others who share your views and interests. 

😌 Dealing with Feelings

SODAS Method

Use this to think through a situation: 

  • Situation – What’s happening? Where and why? 

  • Options – What can I do? 

  • Disadvantages – What could go wrong? 

  • Advantages – What could go well? 

  • Solution – What’s the best choice? 

⚡ Impulsivity

The List Idea

  • Write down things you did that felt impulsive. 

  • Add things others say were impulsive. 

  • Think about what went wrong and what went right. 

  • Spot where you’re most impulsive. 

  • Pick the behaviours that cause the most harm. 

Name It, Reframe It, Tame It (Knight, 2015)

  • Name it – What pushes your buttons? What causes your anger? 

  • Reframe it – Believe you can change how you react. Learn from it. 

  • Tame it – Use calming strategies: 

  • Leave the situation 

  • Count to 10 

  • Take deep breaths 

  • Imagine rewinding a tape 

🌟 Boosting Self-Esteem

Keep a Positive Journal

Your brain often focuses on the bad stuff. Try to notice the good things too. 

  • At the end of each day, write down three positive things. 

  • Reflect on what went well and what you liked. 

Self-Esteem Journal Prompts

Write about: 

  • Something you did well today 

  • Something kind you said or did 

  • Something you’re proud of 

  • Someone who made you smile 

  • A challenge you handled well 

Help When You Feel Angry

Everyone gets angry. What matters is how you manage it. 

🔗 Young Minds – Anger 

Types of Anger

  • Outward aggression – Acting out toward others 

  • Inward aggression – Being hard on yourself 

  • Passive aggression – Ignoring or being sarcastic 

Ways to Calm Down

  • Go for a walk 

  • Listen to music 

  • Take deep breaths 

  • Exercise 

  • Do something fun (bike ride, baking, gaming) 

  • Watch YouTube or read 

  • Take a hot bath 

  • Use stress balls or fidget toys

Try This Trick When You’re Angry

Think of: 

  • 5 things you can see

  • 4 things you can hear

  • 3 things you can touch

  • 2 things you can smell or taste

  • 1 deep breath

Then focus on your breathing. 

📓 Keeping a Journal

Write about: 

  • What made you angry 

  • What you did 

  • Did it help? 

  • How you felt after 

  • Anything else on your mind 

You can draw, write, or doodle. Your journal is private. Share it only if you want to. 

🗣️ Talking When You’re Angry

Before you speak, think about what you want to say. If you’re too angry, walk away and calm down. 

At school, you could use a volcano card to leave the room if you’re struggling. 

Example:

“I’ve been feeling really wound up lately. Can I talk to you about it? I get upset when we rush out the door while I’m in the middle of a game. Can we find a way to make this easier?” 

🔗 Health for Teens – Neurodiversity 
🔗 Bristol Autism Support – University Guide