This is Me

Your relationship with yourself matters.
It is important to think about this and take care of it.

How you treat yourself affects how you feel.
Your self‑esteem means how you see yourself.
Good self‑esteem helps you look after yourself and build resilience.
Resilience means being able to cope with stress and bounce back when things are hard.

There are small things you can do to help build self‑esteem.
One of these is positive thinking.

Many thoughts are automatic.
We may not notice them.
But it helps to check if your thoughts are positive or negative.

If you notice unhelpful thoughts, you can challenge them.
Try to change them into more positive thoughts.
This can help build confidence.

You do not need to be positive all the time.
You can try neutral thoughts instead.

For example:
A negative thought like, “I had lots to do and I did nothing. I am useless,”
could become a neutral thought like,
“Not every day can be good. That is OK. I can try again tomorrow.”

Over time, thinking in a more balanced way can help you build a healthier and happier relationship with yourself.

We learn who we are from many things.
This includes our interests, experiences, personality, choices, values, and beliefs.
These things help us understand our identity.
Identity means what makes us who we are.

When you understand yourself, it is easier to decide what you want and what you want your adult life to look like.

Have you ever asked yourself these questions?

1. What lights me up?

2. What drains me?

3. What matters most to me?

4. Who matters most to me?

5. What stresses me out?

6. How do I define success?

7. What makes me angry?

8. What gets me out of bed in the morning?

9. What relaxes me?

10. What brings me joy?

11. What scares me?

12. What makes me curious?

13. What do I see as my failures?

14. What keeps me awake at night?

15. What disappoints me?

16. What are my insecurities?

17. What do I want to learn?

18. What do I respect most about myself?

19. What are my regrets?

20. What am I good at?

21. What am I not good at?

22. What do I believe about myself?

23. What past hurts or painful experiences do I carry?

24. What are my habits?

25. What do I envy?

When We Are Children

Childhood is when we first start to learn who we are.
We depend on our families for care, support, and safety.
Our early relationships with family members help shape our identity.
Identity means how we see ourselves.

During childhood, we learn about our family, our community, and the values that matter to them.

When We Are Teenagers

Adolescence is an important time for identity.
As teenagers, we start to build a sense of who we are.
We learn how our values affect our relationships with ourselves, friends, and family.

This is also when we begin to become more independent and think about our future goals.

Teenage years can be a time of strong emotions.
We may challenge adults, feel stressed, or take risks while trying to understand ourselves.
This is a normal part of growing up.

When We Are Adults

In adulthood, we begin to build our public identity.
This includes our work life and our role in our community.
We also deepen our personal relationships

Having a strong sense of identity can help you:

• Build self‑awareness

• Form healthy relationships

• Stay grounded

• Make good decisions

• Take part in your community

Every young person’s identity is unique.
It is important that we respect these differences.
We should also try to understand the experiences of others and show acceptance.

What Makes Up Our Identity

Identity is made up of many parts.
These can include, but are not limited to:

• Gender

• Race

• Culture

• Religion or beliefs

• Sexuality

Some people feel strongly linked to one or more of these parts.
Together, these things make each person unique.

Neurodivergent identity

“Neurodivergent” is not a medical diagnosis.
It is not used in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM‑5).
Instead, it is a way of thinking about people whose brains work in different ways.

Some people choose to describe themselves as neurodivergent.
This may include people with autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or other conditions.
Some experts also include mental health conditions like anxiety or depression.
This varies because “neurodivergent” is not an official diagnosis.

There are no rules about who “counts” as neurodivergent.
But it is important not to label everyday experiences as neurodivergent.
Everyone sometimes forgets things, makes mistakes, gets tired, or needs time alone.

Neurodiversity is the idea that different ways of thinking are a form of human diversity.
It does not see these differences as a disease or something that needs to be “fixed”.
From this idea, we get words like:

• Neurodivergent – a person whose brain works in a different way

• Neurotypical – a person whose brain works in a more common or expected way

• Neurodiverse – a group that includes both neurodivergent and neurotypical people

One person alone cannot be called “neurodiverse” because diversity means having a mix of differences.

Cultural identity

Many things shape who we are.
One important part is our cultural identity.
This includes the traditions, values, and ways of life we learn from our family or community.

Your cultural identity can help you feel like you belong.
It can help you understand your place in the world.
But it can also feel confusing if you do not feel part of just one culture.

For example, you might grow up in the United Kingdom (UK), but your family may come from another country.
You might feel caught between the two cultures, or unsure which one you fit into.
This is a common experience, and it is okay to feel this way.

Gender identity

Your gender identity is how you feel inside about your gender.
For some people, these feelings start in childhood.
As you grow older, you might understand your gender more clearly.

Some people find that earlier feelings of gender dysphoria fade over time.
Gender dysphoria means feeling upset because your body does not match your gender identity.
Others may realise they are gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
Everyone’s journey is different.

As a teenager or adult, you may:

• feel sure that your gender identity does not match your biological sex

• feel comfortable only when you live in your preferred gender role (this can include being non‑binary)

• want to change or hide physical signs of your biological sex, such as breasts or facial hair

• dislike or feel distress about your genitals

You may also feel lonely or different from other people.
You might face pressure from friends, family, or classmates to behave a certain way.
Some young people experience bullying or harassment.
This can affect your emotional and mental wellbeing.

Your experiences with gender can affect your mental health.
This can feel confusing or difficult, but support is available, and you do not have to face it alone.

Sexual identity

Sexual identity, or sexual orientation, is about who you feel attracted to.
This may be physical attraction, emotional attraction, or both.

As children and young people grow up, they explore and express their sexuality.
This is a normal part of development.
Older teenagers may start dating or forming relationships.
Younger children might be curious about changes in their bodies or about sex.
Many young people feel unsure about their sexuality, and it may change over time.

There are many words people use to describe their sexuality.
LGBTQ+ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning, and more.
Gender identity and sexuality are different things.

Some words young people use include:

• Lesbian or gay – when girls are attracted to girls

• Gay or homosexual – when boys are attracted to boys

• Straight or heterosexual – when someone is attracted to the opposite sex

• Bisexual – when someone is attracted to more than one gender

• Asexual – when someone does not feel sexually attracted to anyone

• Questioning – when someone is unsure about their sexuality

Coming out means telling someone about your sexuality.
It can help you feel less alone.
It can also feel worrying or unsafe.
You can come out at any time that feels right for you.
Many LGBTQ+ people come out more than once in their lives, as they meet new people.